Testing, testing..

Isn't it funny how hours turn into days, days turn into weeks and before we know it over a year has gone by. When I first started this blog I was in a whole different life then the current life I am living now. And I find a whole new purpose for blogging, so.. testing, testing.. 123 is anyone out there?

We all have hopes and dreams of how we want our lives to turn out. Dreams that we work towards achieving. But what happens when all you ever dreamt of comes true and then it is all taken away from you? All I ever wanted to be was to be a wife, mother, have the big house with the white picket fence and live happily ever after. I had all that, and then in the blink of an eye and one horrifying night (that I would never wish upon anyone) later it was all gone. Long story short.. I am now a single mother to my beautiful baby boy and we live on our own in an apartment. Is it the white picket house I always dream of? No but.. it is our safe place and we have each other. What I am trying to say is… we can not plan our lives. How ever our lives are destine to turn out will play out on its own even if we do not understand it. We have to learn to trust the timing of our lives. I have always been a firm believer in everything happens for a reason and now my life is living proof of that.

If anyone is out there thanks for listening. I hope to write a lot more in the future because with everything that has gone on in the past months I want to share that because maybe something I write will touch someone and brighten their day. Or maybe they won't feel so alone when life has them down. We all have our own story we are all fighting our own battles and I have learnt that we don't have to do it on our own.

Mother's/ Grandma Day

My mum has always been my best friend so of course I love to take full advantage of mother's day to spoil her and show her how much I love and appreciate her! Usually I like to take her out on mother's day and have a mama daughter date. But.. this mother's day was a little different.. this mother's day I am a mama now too! So on actual mother's day I wanted to celebrate my first mother's day with my baby boy because all I have ever wanted in life is to be a mama! So to have my first ever mother's day was a big deal to me! Couldn't forget grandma though! So we told her not to make plans on the saturday and to not eat a big breakfast! Love is in the detail some people say, not in the big expensive gifts but in the thoughtful gifts with lots of love (these are my specialty) So off to grandma's house we go..

                                             

I LOVE my mama! 

                           

God Parents

How do you choose two people to be your 1st born child's god parents? For us it was easy.. there were two people that were our obvious choices. But.. we did not want to have Gavin baptized and we were not rushing out to write our wills any time soon. It was how ever important to us for Gavin to have god parents; some one he could turn to throughout life, someone to look up to (besides his awesome parents of course), a role model and someone who would always be there for him for whatever life throws his way. I have god parents, my aunt and uncle and even though I have many other aunt's and uncle's, I have a special love and bond with this aunt and uncle just because they are my god parents (does that make sense?) So Gavin's god parents might not have gotten to stand up for him in the church in front of all his friend and family but we know how honoured they were to be asked and that they wont let us or Gavin down.

Gavin's Uncle Shawn has a love for Gavin that makes me tear up to watch ( I am as I write this, man I'm a suck) It is so amazing to watch my little brother love and care for our son. They have a bond that no one will ever be able to break. Gavin's face lights up the moment his Uncle Shawn (Pook) walks in the room. Shawn loves Gavin before he even really knows his personality or the person he is going to be. Maybe Gavin will grow up to be in a band and not play hockey like Shawn. But you know what that will not matter because Shawn will love him anyways. Shawn will not love Gavin any less if Gavin is smarter then him or better looking then him. This is something that I feel we all need to work on, we are so quick to judge people or not give someone a fair chance because they are "different" then us. Gavin loves his uncle for who he truly is and Gavin doesn't judge (ok maybe he is a baby and doesn't understand yet)  but I pray that Gavin never looses his non judgmental heart, his ability to smile at any one in the store; no matter their race, age or gender.

Now Gavin's Auntie Alicia may not be blood related but let me tell you that does not matter one bit! I have been best friend with Alicia for over 10 years (wow!) and I can probably count on one hand the times I have seen her cry, one of them being the day I told her I was pregnant. I still remember it as if it were yesterday, we were in Winners and I kinda just blurted it out and she froze and turned to me with tears in her eyes and just hugged me (this is rare) and from that moment on I knew she loved our baby before she even knew if it was a girl or a boy. Alicia was at the hospital the day Gavin was born, and I'm sure I can speak on behalf of her and say it was love at first sight for her and Gavin. She just held him, staring at him in complete awe. This look of love continued when Alicia would make a point of driving out to our place once a week once gavin was born. She would just hold Gavin and I would be telling her a story and soon realize I was talking to myself because she was lost in awe of Gavin. Now is that love or what? It is a beautiful thing to watch true love first hand.

We are so blessed to have so many people who love our son unconditionally, he is one blessed little man. I can not wait to watch him grow and watch him discover life. He will have his parents, family, friends and god parents there for him along for the journey

Good Friday (better late then never)

I know good Good Friday was months ago now (insert over exaggeration here for dramatic effect) but I snapped a few photos that I love and would like to share. Every Good Friday for as long as I can remember my family and I go for a Good Friday hike. This year was extra special because me saying "my family" has new meaning. This is the first year I am a Mrs and a mama.   So to be able to continue the tradition and bring along my two fav boys meant a lot to me. To add to the sentimental meaning of the day, it was our first Good Friday going up to my parent's "new" cottage. Another one of my "traits" to add to the list, I am a huge lover of traditions! My immediate family and I are super close and created many amazing traditions over the years and now with my new family I can not wait to start our own traditions.  
Now the power and water weren't turned on yet at the cottage so we roughed it and cooked our lunch over the fire and I am sure you can use your imagination for the bathroom situation. After lunch we adventured down to the beach, which is just a stones throw away. It was a breezy cool March day to say the least but we bundled up and made the most of it. I will let the photos do the rest of the talking.. 

Gavin and his second favourite lady.. his Grandmum 

Sitting by the fire with Uncle Pook 

Gavin's first time on the swings! At his mama's favourite place, the cottage! (did I mention I am sentimental?)

9 months old

Well our little man is growing like a weed. I looked for his pause button yesterday but only found a cute little belly button and a button nose. It's official he has been out in the world just as long as he was cooking in the oven. 

"No one will ever know the strength of my love for you.  After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside" 

Not sure how well you can get to know someone through a blog but here is a little fact about me. I have many different "traits" that make me, me. For instance I will jump at any opportunity to celebrate a life mile stone. Like today for example, today is our son Gavin's 9month "birthday" and I saw this as a perfect opportunity to celebrate his life and of course have a mini photo shoot (my inner photographer coming to play) Now my husband (Chris) he has learned to just laugh and play along to keep me happy. Does he understand why I think it is important to celebrate 9 months when according to him it is not a "real birthday" ? No he does not but he knows that, that is just part of who I am and one of the many reasons why he loves me I am sure. 

Welcome to my life

Hello there.. my name is Jes VanSickle (Wood) and I am a first time blogger. In the past year I have became a mother to a handsome little charmer named Gavin who has quickly stolen my heart, a wife to my best friend, my protector and my partner in crime; Christopher,  a 1st time home owner and started to dip my toes in the photography world. Then I got to thinking what better way to share and document all the new excitement in my life then with a blog? Here goes nothing..